My Mom, My Friend

Words cannot adequately express how much my Mother means to me. She has been an amazing Mom and I count myself privileged to be her daughter. Each day as we talk I am reminded of just how blessed I am. She offers encouragement, counsel, and most of all love. God made my Mom to be a Mom. It is in her very nature to mother.

In a feeble attempt to pay homage to my mother, I want to take a few moments to share some of my favorite things that my Mom does for me. This list will not be exhaustive but merely a sampling of what makes my Mom one in a million!

• She taught me. Some of my earliest memories are of my Mom teaching me. She taught me the academic must knows and household how-tos. She even threw in a few practical just becauses; however, the most important things she taught me came from God's Word. Even today, most of my pleas for help are met with a ready verse and encouragement from the Bible.
• She modeled for me. When I wonder what the Proverbs 31 woman actually looked like, I simply need to look to my Mom. She taught me what it means to be so many of the traits found in the Proverbs 31 woman simply by how she lived her life. As commanded in Titus, she has taught me by her example how to love my husband and love my children, to be sober, discreet, chaste, good, a keeper at home, and obedient. 
• She loved me. That almost seems anti-climatic that a Mom would love her children; however, it truly is a gift. She loved me at my best and at my worst. She loved me when I needed it most and somehow always knew when that time was. Now, she loves me and that love spills out to her love for my husband and boys. She is an amazing mother-in-law if I do say so myself. :) She is a Grammy extraordinaire. A natural out pouring of her love for me is that she fiercely loves those  near and dear to me (even my friends).

I love you Mom! You're the best!

My Mother-in-law, my Friend

The general sentiment that when you marry someone, you marry their family too, is very true. My husband has a wonderful family and I am so thankful that they let me in! They are such a kind and loving family.

My Mother-in-law, or in-love (m-i-l) as we often say, is a special lady. She is kind and gentle. She has such a sweet spirit. She raised an amazing son (well, three if you poll the sisters-in-law :) for which I am so grateful. Marrying her youngest son not only granted me entrance into the family but into their hearts as well. As Mother's Day nears, I wanted to take a moment and let her know how much I love her.

The mother/daughter in law relationship can be tricky. I applaud my  m-i-l for making ours so easy. She has done many things in the past 15 years to bolster the relationship. Today I share a few:

• She included me. That means in conversations, in decisions, in helping when we were visiting, just everything. She has always made me feel a part of the family.
• She encouraged me. Despite my well-intentioned but pitiful attempts at times, she is a source of encouragement. Whether it be my attempts to make HER special bar-b-que recipe (which I have conceded will never happen), a botched try at caring for her son, or even parenting two of her grandchildren, she never tried to one-up me, even when she clearly could! Her words remind me of the Proverbs 31. She speaks with the "law of kindness".
• She befriended me. Not willing to settle for a mediocre relationship, she has gone out of her way to become more than my m-i-l, but my friend. When we speak on the phone she asks and cares about me. How I am doing  as a person, wife, and mother. And then again, in our conversation, she encourages me.

This list is certainly not exhaustive, but it is several core principles which guide our relationship. As a mom who one day faces the possibility of her two sons finding young women who capture their hearts, I am trying to take heed now. I want to build a relationship with my future daughters-in-law that is as sweet and uplifting as the one I share with my m-i-l! I love you, Mom Schaffer! Happy Mother's Day!

The Law of Kindness

Today hit a few rough patches. We were redecorating my Littlest Guy's room. We have spent hours patching walls, painting, painting again, and moving furniture. This "little" project has taken us far too long because of our crazy busy schedule lately. My Little Guy has been as patient as can be. As a mom I was proud of his long-suffering with us, knowing how excited he was, yet he did not nag or complain.

We were on a field trip on Monday with some very dear friends. We learned survival information for the Bayou. It was good information to know. I have no desire to become gator bait or worse yet, actually have to eat one! I now know of several edible plants around us if I ever have the unfortunate experience of getting stranded in the Bayou. : ) Sorry, I digress...back to the redecorating...

While the boys and I were away, my sweet hubby used his Monday off to not only wash and wax his car, cut the grass, run errands, and get parts to fix my bathtub; he also, bought more paint to finish the bedroom makeover. As we arrived home late that evening, he was putting the curtains and blinds back up in the window. Yesterday we were away all day, so this morning brought us our first opportunity to finish up the room.

After days of waiting patiently, I could not look my little blue-eyed Cowboy in the eyes and refuse his plea to "finish his room." We were having a great time until I took out the cute western looking vinyl "stickers" for the walls.

It began with our dismay to find that someone had used all but 22 of them and repackaged them and returned them to the store. Had they not been purchased "quite" some time ago, I too would return them! That was disappointing.

Then we moved onto actual placement of the stickers. Let's just say, that for this decorating-challenged Mom, they were too much!!! I became so frustrated at trying to get the cactus scene to line up correctly, all-the-while calmly trying to explain to my extremely focused (read: stubborn) Blessing that "No, it really did not look nice going diagonally across the wall.", that at some point (which was after my big Blessing came in to help)  I forgot the words of Proverbs 31:26: "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." For a span of a few moments I am not sure there was any wisdom and not much kindness coming out of my mouth. In fact, after hearing myself ask one of my Helpers to "PLEASE get OFF of the bed and LOOK to see if this is STRAIGHT!!!", I just closed my mouth so nothing came out at all. : ( At that moment I heard my Mom and Sister in my head saying, "Use the Law of Kindness."

Growing up, the Law of Kindness, was a scale by which we often measured our speech. Many times we girls would remind each other to watch our speech. I may not have been as thankful for those reminders at the time they were given, but I am very thankful now. Exercising self-control over the tongue is such a challenging thing sometimes. I find, for me, it is not always what I say that is unkind, but rather the way I say it. Far too often a curt and impatient sounding tone overshadows whatever words are being said.

Today, sitting on the bed, with a sore neck and arm from trying to accurately place those "easy-to-use" stickers, I had to silence my unkind tongue, ask for forgiveness from my boys, and try again. This battle with our tongues is not a one-time-only thing, it is daily! Today, I am choosing wisdom and kindness. How about you? How do your practice the Law of Kindness in your home?

My Shield Against Sin

We recently began a new series in our church Ladies Bible Study. We are studying the book of James together. Wow what a book! We are only 12 verses into it and have been challenged! I love it when God does that...when He works in our lives in an unmistakable way.

As I was preparing to teach the next lesson, I was reminded how God did not leave us without defenses against the temptations of Satan. He provided a way of escape for each and every temptation we encounter. That fact is not something I did not know; however, I most certainly needed reminded. I am without excuse. I have no one to blame my sin on but myself! Ouch! I cannot use the age-old excuse, "the Devil made me do it."

As we studies the defenses that the Lord has given us to defeat Satan we were reminded of how Jesus always used Scripture. How good God is to provide us with a ready defense against the wiles of the Devil. This morning as I was reading my Bible God directed me to Proverbs 30:5~"Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him."

Today, I just want to praise the Lord for giving me a shield!

Linked up to www.womenlivingwell.org

Iron Friends

This weekend I was blessed to be able to attend a women's retreat hosted by a chruch in Tennessee. This retreat was so very special to me for two reasons. First, my Mom was the speaker and I love being with her anytime! It was fun getting to be roomies for a few days and just enjoy each other's company. The sessions she taught were such an encouragement to me! I probably appreciated them more because I knew how much time and energy she spent preparing and studying for them.

The other highlight of my weekend was seeing my "Iron Girls." A little over 6 years ago, God brought a group of four women together and bound us as friends. They are my Iron Friends as found in Proverbs 27:17- "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." God has used each of them, many times to sharpen my countenance. They have encouraged me, been honest with me, even when there were tough things to say, and they have shared many memories.

I share all of this as a reminder that we must be thankful for our friends! True friends like these girls do not come along every day. In fact, our friendships are a direct result of prayer. At the time God brought all of us together, we were all lonely and needed a true, Godly, heart-connected friend.

Personally, I had just moved and left my Mom, sister, and two other heart friends. I was a young mom with little ones, a husband that was finding his way in a new ministry, and I was so very lonely. I was surrounded by people and yet felt very alone. I started praying, asking God to please just help me find one real friend. He blessed my with three!

In the six years we have all been friends, we have gone through many changes in each of our lives. We have since moved again to our current ministry. One of my chums has moved twice due to some very challenging and unexpected circumstances. One recently moved away from our church in Tennessee as her husband took a pastorate in Virginia. And my final chum is leaving in a few short weeks to begin her new life with her family as missionaries in Uganda. God is busy in our group and I pray that continues. As ministry has now spread us out across the globe, we strive to find ways to stay connected. Friendships like these are too valuable to die. We send "round-robin" messages through Face Book and we will begin a Bible study together as soon as our Uganda Girl gets settled. I am blessed beyond measure and I praise God for my friends!!! If you have friends like these, take a moment and let them know how thankful you are for them. If you do not, ask God to connect you with someone. He will!

How do you stay connected with your friends near and far? Leave me a comment with some ideas. Thank you for stopping by today. God bless!